They’re not gonna let you get away with this.”Īnd the press called me up like, “Do you have a statement?” “A statement?! For a f*cking banana peel? No! I don’t have anything to say.” This guy was f*cking famous for throwing a banana peel at me. You know that, right? You can’t just be throwing banana peels at Dave Chappelle. They were all just like… Who the f*ck does that? And then they arrested the guy, which was… I said, “Someone’s gonna f*ck you in the butt in the holding cell. And the whole crowd was white, so it just got instantly creepy, and everyone looked like they were looking at 12 Years a Slave. You know what I mean? You didn’t eat that banana recently, motherf*cker. And then, not only did he throw a banana peel at me, but… it was premeditated. I was in Santa Fe the other night, and a motherf*cker threw a banana peel at me. Most of the dudes I meet around these parts are dressed like a d*ke in New York, so I’m glad to see that.
What’s going on? Good to see everybody out here tonight. Unfortunately, he can’t or won’t speak right now, so please leave a detailed message. You have reached the voicemail of comedic genius Dave Chappelle. And he doesn’t want to waste the opportunity on the frivolous. Getting me to agree to this was beyond his wildest dreams. He’s composing the voiceover I’m saying to you right now.
